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Just Jokin'

Jokes & Snark

Dogloose recommends DJokeOfTheDay.com and IntoRehab.com

Category: Just Jokin'
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His adoring public asks: "Is it really true that Tiger would?

Well... looks like all that mattered was Tiger's wood!

Category: Just Jokin'
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I came across this article in an obscure newspaper that... well... just fell out of the sky...

Read more: Clinton Leads With 106 Points!

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Dick's Jokes

  • Who Caught What

    A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.

    Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

    "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."

  • The Special Key

    Three girls died and went before the pearly gates where St. Peter and his angel stopped them. St. Peter said: "Before entering heaven you must answer a simple question - have you been a good girl?"

    The first girl replied: "Oh yes. I was a virgin before I got married and was still a virgin even after I got married." "Very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl... the golden key"

    The second girl answered: "Oh, quite good. I was a virgin before I got married but not after." "Also very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, for this girl give her the silver key"

    Finally St. Peter turns to the third girl and asks: "Have you been a good girl?" She answered: "Oh no, not at all. I practically screwed every guy I met, before, and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime, any position.

    "Hmmm... I see", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl my room key!"

  • What Does Your Dad Do

    The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All right, Billy." 

    Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people in court."

    The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Tyrone."

    Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Tyrone. My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m...f-a-r-n...f-n..."

    The teacher says, "Tyrone, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Angelo."

    Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo. My old man's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you nine-to-five Tyrone ain't spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."

  • Life is A Circus

    Why'd the trapeze artist divorce his wife?

    He caught her in the act.